I’ll never forget meeting 87 year-old Mary in a yoga class on my first trip to Hawaii. Her mat was right in front of mine, and though I did my best to keep my focus on my practice, I couldn’t help but watch in amazement as her gripping toes held her body in a graceful Warrior 3 pose. I could tell from her energy and the way she transitioned through sequences, she had grit. She didn’t let being a little wobbly stop her. As we were rolling up our mats I heard her in conversation with a local, saying she had just returned from a solo cruise to Alaska and how good it felt to get back to the studio. That was it; I had to know her. I asked if I could buy her a tea and she joyfully suggested we meet at the local coffee shop.
We spent a solid hour sitting outside talking among the neighborhood roosters. She sipped her mocha frap as the summer sun came through the tree leaves above us and spoke passionately about motherhood, our political climate, feminism, intuition, and of course, yoga. She found yoga in her 60s. When I found out her age, I told her my grandfather was 92 and that he tries his best to stay with the times, using Facebook and other online platforms. Aghast, she made a face and said “Oh no, I don’t need any of that!” I laughed and replied “tell me more about that.”
I can remember her tone as clear as day; she almost sang her response. “Well, I’d rather be present! I have this sky! And this bush over here! And you! I’m here connecting with you directly, now why would I want anything less than that?”
She’s right; we wouldn’t want anything less than that. I finished out that trip with a digital detox.
I’m not shaming or trying to change anyone -- I believe in the benefits of social media just as much as the next person and I acknowledge that I am on my phone probably more than I would like to admit. But in this current age of information when life can be chaotic, busy is glorified, and our only break is screen time, I am posing the question, “How can we practice presence?”
The answer is mindfulness, undoubtedly, and it is a choice. But we have to know that presence is something to be desired in the first place to want to practice it. Here are my thoughts on that. If you are not present, you are living in the future or the past which can consume you with fear, anticipation, and regret. Living in the present allows you to choose how you want to shape your life by observing and deciding how you want to feel in each singular moment and noting if the thoughts you’re having are serving you. Presence allows the deep knowing that you can make empowering decisions with every breath and choose to believe your better-feeling thoughts. The gifts of practicing mindful presence are many, but in a very short amount of time you will begin to see increased resilience, ability to overcome challenges, reduced stress levels, increased focus, and improved emotional awareness and overall wellness.
Here are three ways to practice presence on a regular basis:
Open your senses and connect to your breath. The quickest way to get present is to notice your surroundings. Stop what you’re doing and for 60 seconds notice what you see, what you hear, what you can touch. Then simply take 5 slow, deep breaths. Your breath is always with you and is accessible at any time as a grounding and centering tool, helping you to calm your nervous system in times of stress.
2. Yoga and Meditation. Ever tried a new balancing posture while thinking about your to-do list? It’s not very effective. Yoga and meditation train your brain to think about one thing and one thing only. They build your focus, strengthen your mind and your will power, shut off the part of your brain that is in charge of overthinking and worrying, and shift the way you see things. And deep meditation literally reverses aging and heals you from the inside out (look it up!). If you’re new to meditation, try guided meditation. Yoga Nidra is a form of guided meditation that slows down your brain waves, allowing for the deepest meditation you can reach, in the fastest manner, and it feels SO good. A 45-minute Yoga Nidra practice gives your body the same amount of rest as a 3 hour nap!
3. Flow State. Have you noticed how quickly time passes when you’re engulfed in your favorite activity or “in the zone?” That’s flow state. Flow state deactivates that same part of your brain that overthinks and causes anxiety (it’s called the Default Mode Network, and it is responsible for your inner voice and sense of Self). It allows you to calm the “monkey mind” and just be present with what is. So get into your flow and tune out distractions! Create! Or find work you love and dive in! This in itself is practicing presence.
A friend recently shared this quote and it struck a chord for me, relative to exactly what we’re talking about today.
“To be unavailable to our friends and family, to be unable to find time for the sunset (or even know that the sun has set at all) to whiz through our obligations without time for a single, mindful breath, this has become the model of a successful life.” - Wayne Muller
We’ve all heard that time is currency. We have to make time to do things that serve our highest selves and give us the ability to truly enjoy life. No matter what we think we’re “supposed” to be doing or feeling, nothing is as important as our inner guidance system when it comes to shaping our own reality, and mindful presence strengthens our inner guidance system like nothing else can. So this is why we practice. We cannot allow true connection and presence to be concepts of generations past. Our disconnection, our numbing habits, our overloaded schedules are all a call to go inward. A call to our heart’s compass. A call to greater love. A call to come back to this very moment and consciously decide how you want to live and feel, over and over again, right here and now. It is a call to presence.
Written originally for It’s Just Yoga Magazine, Orlando, FL